Letting Go

I came across this list awhile back of 15 Things You Should Give Up to be Happy.  It's been a handy list that I keep at the top of my 'favorites' for inspiration and thought I'd share the link.  Funny that the first two things on the list are the hardest for me and I make a conscious effort on them all the time:

1. Give up your need to always be right. (my mother and husband are nodding their heads sagely) and
2. Give up your need for control. 

I think that giving up control was one of the hardest things about becoming a parent for me; life with kids, especially babies, is organized chaos at best.  Having things in my life that I CAN control helps me stay balanced and I try really hard to let go of the things I CAN'T control, which is most everything.  I think that many runners would confess to being type-A folks.  Working on training towards a race goal is like therapy.  And then there's always something that doesn't go quite right during training or on race day so that you can set a new goal, a new task to master for the next one. 

As for the need to be right, I always THINK I'm right in my head, but I'm always trying really hard to keep my thoughts to myself (and, thankfully, to my sounding board husband). 

Funny Reminders Ecard: It says it right here, 'Women are always right.'

I certainly have my slip-ups...  Here's my anecdote for the day: back when Whitney Houston died, there was a LOT of negative commentary bouncing around the internet. I got so irritated with all of it and a 'friend' on Facebook(someone I went to high school with and hardly know at all) posted something like Whitney Houston, for all intents and purposes, deserved to die. I mean COME ON. I'd been so irritated with all of the politically charged ramblings and other negative stuff he was spewing since I accepted his friend request and couldn't stop myself from posting a comment.  He was so totally WRONG (in my opinion, of course) and I just felt that I had to say what was RIGHT: something like 'dude, she was someone's mother, daughter, friend.  Chill!'  Needless to say, it started a huge debate with the guy which ended up with his wife jumping online and dissing me.  (Still think I'm right, btw!  What if it was his daughter, friend? What good does it do?  What are you doing to better yourself or others by saying such hateful crap about someone who's dead??)  I was venting to my husband about it and he looked at me like I was crazy, "why the hell haven't you un-friended this douchebag??"   Um, I didn't have an answer to that! Why hadn't I!?  Maybe it's the residual high-schooler in me that is afraid to lose friends, offend anyone, or miss out on anything.  I walked right to the computer and un-friended the hell outta that guy. 

I've been feeling that 'need to be right' and 'need to control' things and the people around me a lot lately with all of the political hot topics so prominent in the news now: gay marriage, healthcare, and of course the impending election which is still a very long four months away.  Thank GOD for the invention of the DVR and never having to watch commercials again.  Anyhow, I have VERY twitchy fingers poised over the keyboard when I see 'information' or 'facts' that people are constantly sharing on the internet.  Then I remembered my husband's wise words and I've been doing some MAJOR Facebook feed editing!  LIBERATING.  There are quite a few friends, and even family members that are no longer showing in my feed (just show 'only important' status updates and they'll pretty much disappear).  Sorry, but if I want the news, I'd rather get it from a journalist.  Speaking of journalists, if you haven't seen this already, Anderson Cooper is a class act. 

Fear of missing out has become like a sickness (it even has it's own term now: FOMO!) with social media playing a larger part in our lives and I certainly fall victim to it - especially when it comes to the Oiselle Totally Trials action, but that's a bit off topic...  I encourage anyone who also has those angst-ridden, twitchy fingers poised at the computer to just let it go.  At first I was worried about offending friends/family when hiding a Facebook feed, but they won't know - so go ahead and hide 'em. 

Here's the full list for your inspiration, to put on your bulletin board, virtual or not:

  1. Give up your need to always be right.
  2. Give up your need for control.
  3. Give up on blame.
  4. Give up on self-defeating self talk.
  5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
  6. Give up on complaining.
  7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
  8. Give up your need to impress others.
  9. Give up your resistance to change.
  10. Give up labels.
  11. Give up on your fears.
  12. Give up your excuses.
  13. Give up the past.
  14. Give up attachment.
  15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations.


  1. FB can be so irritating. I had a college acquaintance giving us running friends a hard time, saying marathon running is pointless and not good for fitness, when are we going to get that in our heads, we shouldn't do it (we should do crossfit instead, that's a real workout according to him.) I was SO mad. After long debate with multiple people on that stream, I unfriended him. No one needs that negativity! I thought all crossfit people felt that way at first, but now I know that's not true at all.

    1. Ohhhh yes, the Crossfit bunch can seem a bit like a cult - they even have their own diet! I have a friend who's very into Crossfit and I get that they are excited about it, love it and want to share it with the world. um, that's how some people feel about running :) sounds like that guy could stand to 'let go of the need to always be right" my buddy is very vocal about how running more than 10 miles is bad for your muscles and yadda yadda, but she'd never rain on my parade if I decided to run a marathon, thank goodness.

  2. I just wanted to thank you for such a great post over at Another Mother Runner. I am in the midst of postpartum running (and body image issues!) and I am really trying to find a new perspective that focuses more on being healthy and less on looking skinny and perfect. I unfortunately did not grow up with a mother like yours who promoted the value of excercise, but I am determined to be a positive influence to my daughter.

    Thank you so much- I really needed your post today :) I am looking forward to following your blog.

    1. Ohhhh, postpartum was the hardest time in my life for body image issues (I wasn't immune to it then for sure!) and for my overall psyche. I had major baby blues with the first and know that things do change - always, always change. Here's another post that might lift your spirits right now: http://www.bornandracedinchicago.com/2012/05/if-you-dont-like-weather-wait-five.html

      Thanks for following along!