On Race Eve...

It's the night before the race: the first 13.1 I'm going to attempt after swearing off half marathons for a year.  I haven't talked very much about my training cycle, or how I'm feeling about said training.  And to tell the truth, it's for fear of jinxing myself.  Even calling the last couple of months a training cycle seems to be admitting something.  And no matter how I do tomorrow, I'm really grateful for this race that has got me back into running more miles, training and the love of running.  But if I acknowledge that I've been focused, consistent, and intentional in my running, then what happens if I don't do well?  If I was consistently writing about all the great tempo runs where my (hopeful) race pace didn't feel too hard, or about completing my longest training run ever (12 miles), or about my new dedication to yoga,  or about my obsessive foam rolling, or about how I'm hydrating like a boss, it's like I can't fail or I'll be disappointing someone.  That is COMPLETELY CRAZY, I know.  Obviously the person we fear disappointing the most is ourselves.  So I just felt like flying under the radar on this little comeback.  

all ready to go!

It's been so long since I've really felt invested in a race.  I suppose it's truly been a year.  After Eugene, I just felt pretty defeated and I think that was my body (and my wonky leg) telling me to take a step back and heal up.  Sure I had a wee PR in the last year; I followed a plan and prepared for that race.  But this feels different, there has been weather stalking (showers, boo!), playlist perfecting (see below), even perhaps some taper tantrums: my lower back started aching after a little fender bender where a girl rear ended me last week and it's clearing up with the help of my chiro.  He thinks I'm fine to race, but I'm still freaking out about it!  I'm even thinking through a 'race plan' (yes I'm using quotes on that) which I've NEVER done before.  All I've ever done was just hit that start line running and hope for the best.  Tomorrow my 'plan' (just visualize me using air quotes there) is go out at a very comfortable effort, but an effort nonetheless, and not look at my watch for the first four miles.  After that, I'll adjust my speed as necessary, whether I need to reign it in a bit or speed up with the end goal being to negative split.  I'll then do the same at mile 8 and mile 12.  Mile 13 will hopefully be all about kicking it into high gear.

My first sharing of a playlist!  I'm still adding/tweaking, and I never put it in any kind of order: I'm a shuffle kind of gal.  You can check it out here.  And yes, there are a couple songs that are definitely 'one of these things is not like the others' in there - I like to mix it up, to a point.

When talking about my May goals, I said that I wanted to be within five minutes of my PR (which was a 2:02:54) for a time of around 2:07.  You know what, eff that, I want to PR.  I think I can shave off at least 30 seconds.  Yes I'll be happy with a strong race, if I have fun, etc. and that's certainly my 'C' goal.  But with the way I've been able to bust out 9 minute miles at a comfortable effort, if I'm admitting what I really want, I want that PR.  And, while I'm being completely honest here, I'd be lying if I wasn't visualizing a finish line clock that begins with 1:5X.  If conditions are right, I think I'm capable of that sub two hour goal.  So there it is, A, B, and C goals.  Even though I thought about taking any kind of PR attempts off the table at the beginning of the year, I changed my mind!  The intent behind that was to ensure my priorities were on running pain free and getting back to running more miles.  My leg is 100% pain free and I'm enjoying my running so much lately that it's quite obvious to me now that I was in a nearly year long slump.  Un-slumping yourself is indeed not easily done.  Being on the other side of it, I feel ready to move mountains.  Though my name is not Buxbaum, Bixby or Bray, I have my own tiny mountain and I want to get on my way.

**Since I put this up later in the day, if you happen to be reading on Sunday morning, please send speedy race juju my way.  I appreciate it in advance.**