9.25.2012

Mama Needs a Vacation

(alternate title: 'Wherein I get Whiny About How Much Kids Can Suck' please disregard if you'd rather not commiserate while I disregard social media etiquette and vent some frustration.)

It's a rather happy coincidence that I'm getting a vacation from my kids soon, because, man... They are wonderful, sweet, funny, awesome little people that I love with the fire of a thousand suns. BUT, there are times (daily, and sometimes alllll day) that I want to smack them upside the head and run screaming for the hills.  Yesterday, my two year old threw a fit because she decided she wanted to brush her teeth again as we were leaving the house. The HELL? So she throws a full on fit about it and I have to wrangle her into her seat so big brother doesn't miss the bus.

Kind of like 'The Rod' but with more action.
She has random outbursts over God only knows what at least twice a day.  Uh oh, someone breathed on her wrong!  And the five year old is just one big ball of "no!" and "I don't WANT to ___."  You can fill in the blank with pretty much anything: brush my teeth, wash my hands, take a time out, stop grabbing toys from my sister, hand you the remote, DO ANY SIMPLE THING YOU ASK ME TO OMG. Hooo boy! Can you tell I'm feeling a bit at the end of my rope??  I know it doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but doling out consequences (that don't ever seem to sink in) every hour of the day makes me a bit stressed and crazy.

I know that the defiant behavior is a way for kids to assert their independence and that they all do it to some degree.  Er, don't they??  And I'm sure it's due, in large part, to the adjustment to elementary school.  It's a huge adjustment for ME.  The whole Kindergarten thing is a lot more exhausting than I thought it would be.  Sure, it's nice to be back in a school routine and to have some time apart for a few hours a day; he's only in half day K.  But, man, the morning routine is way more stressful than ever.  Not only is it earlier than preschool, but there's the waiting at the busy street for the bus, the need to REALLY be there on time, and the homework!  Not only does he have his fair share for a Kindergartner (and, let's be honest, it's homework for BOTH of us), but I feel like I could build a bonfire with the amount of paperwork that comes home for me on a daily basis.  Fundraising, PTA, conference scheduling, school pictures, forms, forms, forms.   GAH.

To top everything off, I decided to do a co-op preschool with my daughter.  I had a great experience with her in a Toddler Group program, so I thought it'd be fun to give the co-op thing another go.  Aaaaaand, wouldn't ya know, she's just as much of a pain as her brother was on my working day.  Sure, she doesn't throw tantrums as badly and is fine with transitions, but she sure is a stage five clinger which is sort of new territory for me - big brother: not so clingy.  And when I have to do work in the classroom and can't be at her beck and call, she clings to my leg and screams bloody murder to pick her up.  She doesn't sit for snack, doesn't get in line to go outside, etc.  I know that it's only been two weeks and that it's a phase, because everything with kids is totally a phase and she was FINE with detaching herself in toddler group; but while we're adjusting to life with a defiant little Kindergartner, it kinda SUCKS. 

My day goes something like this: rush around all morning while two people under four feet tall fight with me at every turn, rush to co-op after the bus stop to have the two year old cling and screech at me for about two hours, rush home to pick up the five year old from the bus so that he can find something to fight with me about (I'm thirsty mommy, did you bring my water bottle? To the bus stop? Noooo, we can walk 25 feet to the house to get it.  Cue FREAKOUT), after the lunch chaos I attempt to get the girl child to nap (FAIL!) and the boy child to spend time in his room (riiiight), try to sit down and decompress with some coffee for about 20 minutes before the doorbell rings and the neighbor kids start gallivanting around our houses and wake up the girl child (if she wasn't awake already).  Oh and add about two or three fights with the five year old about what he can and can't do with the neighbor kids (no you can't ride your bike down the hill like the seven year old) - lather, rinse, repeat.  Yes, we have some fun and copacetic moments in there around lunchtime when we go out in the backyard to play or color/do homework at the kitchen table.  And, of course, all is well when Daddy is home - because when he uses the techniques from the parenting books, they just work like an effing CHARM.

ANYHOO!  That felt good to get some of this stuff off my chest.  If you're still with me here, I'm presuming you have kids - dealing with the same?  Had wee ones that acted the same and are now PERFECT ANGELS??






10 comments:

  1. I don't have kids but I'm still with you. I love that you said stage five clinger, haha. Sorry you are having a tough time! I know nothing about this, but it definitely doesn't sound fun. :(

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    1. aww, thanks for the moral support! overall, the overall happiness they bring outweighs the suckage :)

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  2. I'm with you...even after they've both been gone until 3:15 for two weeks now, they pick up right where they left off as soon as they get into my car. Bickering, talking back, growling at each other. The list goes on. That couple hundred bucks per month for full day is probably sounding pretty sweet right now, eh? Hang in there! Have fun in Chi-town. Xoco is beyond awesome. Portillo's. MmMMM. My mouth is watering thinking about both.

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    1. oh yeah, how could I forget the constant fighting and bickering between the two of them? gah! duuuude, I actually called Sean in tears the other day - get home now, or I really might do something BAD. haven't done that since the baby days. this Kindergarten stuff is brutal all around. I know that things will smooth out, I'm just not a patient person!

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  3. Love the cartoon. Both of mine are the slow poke...doddling on forever with anything in LaLaLand. Holy Cow how do you light a fire under their butts, so to speak?
    Deep breaths. I've said to a few people lately that the 3 year old isn't even close to an issue, its the 5 year old that is off the charts for crazy tantrum emotional volcanic activity. The 3 year old can throw a good one, but the 5 year old is epic. Again and Again.

    Have a fun time! Plane ride without kids. Hallelujah!

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    1. well, that's really the only kinda plane riding we do 'round here - but it's been over a year since I've been on one! SO MUCH READING!!! :)

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  4. I've never really dealt with anything like that -- ha(!!) totally kidding! You just described our every day too. My husband's favorite joke is that I like to run marathons to relax. So true by the way. Running a marathon is way more relaxing than a morning with the kids. They're awesome, but they're also a holy mess. It's good that you've got some away time coming up. My husband and I have a trip (to Chicago!) in October. Looking so forward to that week of no one screaming in my face.

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    1. omg, yes, so much more relaxing.

      oooooh!! have you been to Chi-town before? I can't wait to live vicariously through your blog post describing every last detail of what you saw and ATE. (hint. hint.)

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    2. I was there once as a teenager, but I haven't been back since. So it's been around 17 years. What should I go and see/do/eat? Help!

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    3. ack! just getting a chance to get back to you. I highly recommend getting italian beef from Portillos AND a hot dog. That's what I miss most :) Or good deep dish pizza - Pequods serves the best. I used to live near Armitage and Sheffield, if you head to neighborhoods up north - tons of fun shopping to be had around there and great margaritas at Twisted Lizard. I'm a big fan of the aquarium, art institute, and the architectural river cruise, for something touristy. Oh, and back to food, if you go out for steak, honestly my favorite (and the go-to fave of many) is Wildfire. Go to the signature room or the new terrace a trump tower for a drink perhaps.. I could go on. and on. if you ever have any specific questions, PUHLEEZ ask away. I could talk about home non-stop :)

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